A3---Starting Potty Training

You've been waiting for the signals. Your child seems to recognize when she is peeing or pooping. And, miraculously, your child is actually telling you from time to time! ("I peed!" or "I pooped!"). She is dry after naps and occasionally upon awakening in the morning.

Now is the time to set the stage if you haven't done so already. Discussing using the toilet, reading about it, and even watching videos is just as important as the process itself. The more your child understands, the more successful toilet training will be.

Discussions of using the toilet are just that. If you haven't done so already, let your child see you and other family members using the toilet (modeling). Let your child know that when she is ready, she can do the same thing. If she has a little friend that is about the same age that is using the toilet, that can also be mentioned (nothing like some peer pressure!). If you notice that she is peeing or pooping, remark on it: "Are you peeing?"...especially if she is in the tub or naked and both of you are observing this act. Follow the observational comment with something positive, like "Let me know when you are ready to try peeing/pooping in the potty!" or "Next time we can try peeing in the potty if you like". Ongoing observational remarks and comments of "when you are ready" let the child know that there is no pressure to start, and that the choice is hers.

Books and videos are wonderful adjuncts to the discussions you have with your child. They help reinforce the ideas you have discussed. And, they see other "kids" or "characters" undergoing the same process, which will help your child understand the whole process.

If you haven't done so already, now is a good time to get the potty "ready" (i.e. purchase a potty chair or child sized potty seat that fits over toilet seat) and to buy some underwear or pull-ups.

Some things to consider regarding your potty "set up" is that there are several potty chairs out there. You needn't spend a fortune on one, but:

• make sure that it is sturdy. The last thing you want is for it to collapse while your child is sitting on it!
• make sure the "pot" part (where the pee and poop end up) of the chair is secure and empties easily for easy cleaning and minimal spilling.

It is also a nice idea, if your child is interested, to have your child help pick the potty chair. If there is something about the potty chair your child does not like (and believe me, you never know what a 2-3 year old might find fault in!), she may be resistant to using it........and that's the last thing you need!

Most children do start out with a potty chair, but if your child is older (around 3 years of age or older) or has an older sibling, she may prefer to use the "real" toilet first. In this case, a child-sized seat which fits over the toilet would be most helpful. Stability of the seat is probably the most when picking a potty seat. Find one that has the least amount of "wiggle" and does not feel like its going to collapse under the weight of the child. Make sure also, that there aren't any parts that may pinch the child. If your child doesn't feel secure on the potty seat, she may not feel comfortable enough to pee or poop in it.

The next consideration is pull-ups vs. underwear vs. training pants.

Things to keep in mind:

• Pull-ups are very convenient and useful when first starting out. They are great for bedtime and naps. However, some children learn quickly that it is just like a diaper, and start using it as such. Similarly, some children may not care if they have peed/pooped in their pull-up because it is as absorbent as a diaper, and hence a wet/dirty pull-up does not motivate the child to use the potty. I would recommend pull-ups when the child is showing a lot of interest but not much consistency. It is nice to use the pull-up when they are running to the bathroom frequently (as diaper tabs generally start to wear out after awhile) with or without success. Not only are the pull-ups easier when using the potty, but they are "different" from diapers and the child will feel more "grown-up". Once your child gets the hang of it, transitioning to underwear would be the next step.
• There is not too much difference between training pants vs. underwear. Training pants do have a layer that is meant to absorb more urine than regular underwear, but I have found that there is still a puddle on the floor after an accident regardless of the type of underwear. However, a little help may be better than none. The advantage that underwear has over pull-ups, is that the child definitely feels when she is wet/dirty which can help encourage/motivate a child to use the potty. Also, cleaning up after an accident takes longer and hence may serve as a deterrent to further accidents.

**A word of caution: some children may find toilet training discouraging or humiliating if they have too many accidents in underwear. So it is a good idea for the child to have some "successes" either in diapers or pull-ups before you put underwear on. **

With these thoughts in mind, we are getting closer and closer to independent toileting. Making sure your child is both physically and psychologically ready, and setting the stage are two of the most important steps in toileting success!